I’ve spent years trying to love myself. And I’m still working on it. But I can tell you that learning to love yourself is worth the effort because when you truly love yourself, you have more confidence and are better able to make decisions that support your well-being. This isn’t a process that happens overnight—it’s a journey—but there are steps you can take along the way to help get there:
Start by understanding that love is not conditional.
The first thing to understand is that love is not conditional. Love is not a reward, nor something you earn or deserve. It’s not something to be afraid of or ashamed of, either. In fact, if you think about it for a second, there’s no reason why we should feel these things about love at all—because in reality, love isn’t something we “do” for someone else; rather, it’s an experience we share with others that can only come from within ourselves first and foremost.
And this brings me back around to my original point: don’t wait until you feel ready before giving yourself permission to practice self-love. If anything we should start by loving ourselves without conditions because then we will have no problem sharing our passion with the world around us.
Love yourself in the moment.
Loving yourself in the moment is key to feeling good about yourself. You can’t love your past self or future self if you’re not loving your present one, so it’s important that you make it a priority to be present and focus on the moment.
When you’re judging yourself for mistakes you’ve made in the past, or worrying about things that haven’t happened yet, it takes away from enjoying life right now. Let go of those thoughts and feelings so that they don’t take up valuable brain space.
It’s also important not to judge others for their actions; we all do what we do because we think it’s best at the time without having any idea how our choices will affect us or someone else down the line.
Challenge your thoughts.
It’s important to remember that your thoughts are not facts. You can change them! Here are some examples of negative thoughts, and how you can challenge them:
- “I’m not good enough.” This is simply a thought that has been reinforced by many experiences in your life, but it is not a fact. You are good enough, no matter what anyone else says or thinks!
- “It’s too late for me.” Again, this thought is rooted in past experiences that have caused you to believe it’s true; but it really isn’t—it’s never too late unless you want it to be!
- “Nobody loves me.” How do you know this? If nobody loves you right now (which might be true), then why stop there? Why not start changing the way people see and treat themselves so they will love themselves more than ever before?
Practice gratitude.
What is gratitude?
Gratitude is the act of appreciating what you have, rather than focusing on what you don’t have. It’s a deliberate practice that involves consciously recognizing and appreciating others’ efforts and actions, as well as your own. Dr. Michael J. Losier explains that “[gratitude] can be thought of as an attitude or state of mind which focuses on the positive qualities in our lives.”
Why is gratitude important?
Gratitude has been scientifically proven to improve your mood by increasing happiness and feeling less lonely, among other things — but it also improves relationships with others because it makes us more pleasant to be around! In fact, one study found that people who were grateful were more likely to keep their jobs than those who weren’t grateful at work (and this wasn’t just because they were better workers). And because gratitude helps build stronger relationships between coworkers by encouraging cooperation and communication skills when employees feel appreciated by management for their hard work (because let’s face it: there’s nothing worse than receiving no recognition for your efforts), being grateful can make the workplace environment better overall!
Spend time with people who accept you and support you.
You are an amazing person, but there’s a difference between knowing you’re awesome and feeling it. You can’t fully appreciate yourself if you don’t get to spend time with people who accept and support you. It’s so important to surround yourself with supportive friends!
If there’s anything that will help you love yourself more, it’s being around those who accept and respect your boundaries. Some people are just not good for us, even though we might be tempted to try again in hopes of them changing their ways—so don’t let anyone make up an excuse for why they’re treating you poorly (like “I’m really stressed out right now”), or tell themselves that there must be something wrong with you because this person doesn’t treat everyone else like garbage too (e.g., “They must have been abused as a child”). Those things are not true: the reality is that this person probably never cared about how they were making others feel anyway; they just wanted someone who would put up with them even when they acted like jerks.
Accept your emotions.
Accepting your emotions is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. Accept that you are not perfect and that you make mistakes. Do not try to fight them or cover them up, but embrace them and allow yourself to feel what you need to feel without judgment or shame.
Emotions often have a purpose and even though they may be negative at times, they typically serve a higher purpose in our lives. If we can learn how to accept our feelings then healing can begin!
One of the best ways to accept your emotions is to simply acknowledge them. Sometimes it can be tough to know what you’re feeling when you’re in the middle of intense emotion. When this happens, take a moment and ask yourself what happened that made you feel this way. What was going through my mind before I felt angry or sad? What thoughts were running through my head that led me to say those hurtful things?
When you understand the root cause of your emotions, then you can begin to accept them. Once you have accepted your feelings, it is time to let go of them. If they are negative emotions such as anger or sadness, ask yourself what purpose they serve in your life and whether or not this purpose is serving you well. If they are positive emotions such as love and joy, then ask yourself what actions need to be taken so that these feelings can continue to grow within you.
Forgive yourself for past mistakes.
You are not perfect, and that is okay. We all make mistakes, and sometimes we will try to justify them by playing the “I should have” game. For example: “If I had spent more time studying instead of going out with friends last night, I would have passed my exam today.” Or “I wish I had listened to my mom when she told me not to date that guy in high school because now look where he is! In jail for armed robbery!” We can carry around all sorts of regret for things that happened in the past but cannot be changed or reversed. But forgiveness doesn’t mean that we forget about our actions—it means accepting ourselves as human beings who are capable of making mistakes!
Forgiveness is about letting go of the past so that you can move forward with your life. It’s about not holding onto anger and resentment, which are both detrimental to our health and well-being. Forgiveness can be difficult at first—especially if someone has hurt you really badly! But once you begin to forgive yourself for making mistakes, it will become easier for others to forgive their own mistakes too.
Take care of yourself.
One of the best things you can do for yourself is to take care of your body. This means eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep each night. Self-care is also important because it helps us stay positive and happy, which in turn makes us more productive.
So, how do you make time for self-care? One easy way is to set aside a few minutes each day to practice some simple self-care routines. Here are some ideas:
-Take a few deep breaths. When you feel stressed or overwhelmed, it can be hard to take a moment to breathe deeply. But taking some time out of your day for a quick breathing exercise can help calm your mind and body.
-Stretch. Stretching reduces stress by increasing blood flow and relaxing your muscles. You can do some simple stretches at your desk, like flexing your feet or reaching for the ceiling with your hands.
-Take a walk. A few minutes spent walking outside can help you clear your head and provide some much-needed fresh air. If your office has a lunch area where employees are allowed to eat, try bringing along some healthy snacks like nuts or fruit and eating them while you walk around outside.
Learning to love yourself takes work, but it is a worthwhile pursuit.
You are worthy of love. If you’re already familiar with the concept of self-love, then you know that it’s about more than just being kind to yourself. It’s about truly accepting who you are, flaws and all—and not just because someone else told you to do so. This acceptance is something that has to come from within yourself before anyone else will be able to see how amazing you really are. In order for someone else to accept your imperfections or shortcomings as part of who they fell in love with (or saw potential in), first, they have to know how much raw potential there is inside of them too!
The way you can make this happen is by accepting yourself, flaws and all. When you do this, you will be able to see what’s really there instead of allowing your fear or insecurity to distort reality.
And finally…
We hope that by reading this, you have learned more about yourself. We want to remind you that sometimes it is okay to struggle with things in life, but there are always ways to overcome your struggles and love yourself.
